Faience Cuisine Moderne 2017

Ah, la Faience Cuisine Moderne 2017! Just the name conjures images of pristine white countertops, gleaming copper pots, and… tiny, suspiciously perfect amuse-bouches that you’re almost too scared to eat. N'est-ce pas?

Let's be honest, 2017 wasn't that long ago. It feels like yesterday we were all debating whether avocado toast was still trendy (spoiler alert: it is) and whether activated charcoal actually did anything besides turn your teeth black. Mais oui, the culinary world keeps spinning, even if our wallets are weeping.

The Year of the Deconstructed Dish

2017 will be forever remembered – or perhaps mercifully forgotten – as the year everything was deconstructed. Lasagna? Here are the noodles, the ragu, and a sad little pile of ricotta, all tragically separated on a plate. Tacos? Just a lone tortilla staring mournfully at a bowl of ground beef.

One had to wonder if chefs were secretly just tired of assembling things. "Too much effort! Let them do it themselves!" I can almost hear them muttering. The brilliance of taking something simple, taking it completely apart, and selling it for 20% more is an undeniable chef skill. Bravo, les chefs!

Sous Vide, My Dear Watson!

Oh, the sous vide! It was everywhere. Suddenly, everyone was sealing their food in plastic bags and giving it a long, warm bath. The promise was perfection – perfectly cooked steak, perfectly poached eggs… perfectly boring dinner conversation, if you asked me. "Oh, this carrot? It's been swimming in precisely 62.5 degrees Celsius water for 47 minutes. Exquisite, non?"

Don't get me wrong, sous vide is a fantastic technique! It's just… well, there's something inherently unromantic about vacuum-sealed dinner, don't you think?

Presentation: If You Didn't Instagram It, Did It Even Happen?

Presentation, presentation, presentation! 2017 was the year we all became amateur food photographers. Microgreens were scattered with the abandon of confetti at a French wedding. Sauces were swirled and drizzled with artistic flair. Every dish was a masterpiece, designed to be captured in a square frame and shared with the world (and, let's be real, envied by our followers).

Was it delicious? Perhaps. Was it visually stunning? Absolutely! Did we actually eat it before it got cold? That's a question best left unanswered. After all, who wants to be seen consuming art? Sacre bleu! The struggle is real.

Faience Cuisine Moderne 2017: A Verdict (With a Wink)

So, what did we learn from Faience Cuisine Moderne 2017? We learned that food can be art, that deconstructing things makes them more expensive, and that plastic-wrapped food is weirdly compelling. We also learned that taking pictures of your dinner is perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't let it get cold.

And most importantly, we learned that even if you can't pronounce half the ingredients on the menu, you can still enjoy the experience (and then order a pizza later when you're actually hungry). Bon appétit… et bonne chance!